Kuwait: Before

Yay!  Three weeks and counting before I land in Kuwait.  I'm sure it's going to be quite an adventure.  I'm feeling less nervous because I've been fortunate enough to make some good contacts that live there now.  One friend, Desert Girl, has been there from the start.  This chica has the funniest and most informative blog.  If you want to know the real deal Kuwait, I would definitely recommend her as a good read.

Some other Kuwait blogs and forums I recommend are 2:48AM, Crazy in Kuwait, Blog Catalog, Just Landed, InterNations and Expat Exchange.  Of course, if you are traveling to another country besides Kuwait, you may search that relevant country in the forums.  I'm sure there are many other good sites, but these are the ones that I have visited and have found to be valuable.  Feel free to post others that you recommend.

One thing that I suggest before even going to Kuwait or any other country you've never been to, is to join sites and forums geared towards life in that country.  Don't be afraid to reach out and ask questions.  Also, it's helpful to not be so incognito and hidden as many people are on those sites.  If you are real to the 100%, then chances are that you will make some good contacts and authentic friends.

Time to get off this computer and get to packing...

The Bitch on My Back

For several days now, I've been feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.  Not to mention, I've poked and prodded my husband's unending patience with my bitchiness.  I mean, you would think after finally getting the news that I will be in Kuwait with my adoring husband next month, that I would be on cloud 9 right?  Not so much.  It's not that I'm not grateful for everything good that's come to me, it's just that lately I've been feeling tired, crappy and weighed down... like I have a bitch on my back.  And I guess that bitch is PMS.  

  

I've been dealing with this bitch for several days now.  I've tried drinking a little wine, eating salt and vinegar chips and indulging in chocolate.  (my usual monthly remedy).  None of that worked this month.  I even got off my lazy ass and hit the gym.  I over worked myself and was so stiff that I could hardly bend my legs and arms for a few days.  So I booked a  90 minute hot stone massage with my massage therapist.  I told him that my stress level was high and to hit me hard with the hot stones.  During my treatment, I asked him to press harder with the hot stones and I made a joke that I really needed him to beat the bitch of my back.  I never talk much during a massage except to tell the therapist where I ache, but this time I told him that I was having trouble crossing all the lists off in my head and that I was PMS-ing badly.  He said that he could relate to the lists in my head and that he would pray for me... pray for my peace.   At that moment, he was digging a hot stone in my back and forcing my resistant muscles to relax, but it was as if he literally spoke peace into my spirit and I began to cry.  Quietly, and softly at first, but then I asked for a tissue and began to sob and blow snot and sob.  I told him that I wasn't crazy and that I was glad to cry.  He said that emotional therapy is a big part of massage and that's what it's mostly for.  I cried a little more and said, " I am not perfect, and I can't do everything."  I realized that the bitch on my back was me.  I've been working too hard, achieving goals, planning, doing, creating... but not resting my mind and my spirit.  I'm glad I took the time to listen to me.  So, one thing at a time.  One thought at a time.  I am not perfect.  But I m perfectly happy with who I am.  And I am in need of a siesta.  I am looking forward to joining my husband and landing in the sand on June 11th.

Climbing Mountains

Last week, the weather here in GA was absolutely perfect, so I finally convinced my aunt to climb Stone Mountain.  She's been living in GA for 4 years and she shamefully lives 10 minutes from the park.   Stone Mountain is one of the world's largest piece of exposed quartz monzonite. (Many people say that it's granite, but it's actually quartz monzonite... just a useful factoid.)  The walk up trail to the top of the mountain is mile long; but add 786 feet in elevation and exposed boulders and rocks to climb, and it will be a work out for your ass... literally!

Last year, I climbed it at least twice a week and discovered a new found hobby... Geocaching.  Basically, treasure hunting for sport.  I found an official monarch butterfly coin, for which you can track online.  The owner of the coin wants it to travel far, so I'm planning to take it to Kuwait and find a geocache there to send it on it's way.  If you you're a person who like to hike, walk, or bike outdoors, I definitely recommend this sport to break up the monotony.  There are over a million geocaches hidden all over the world!

So, as my aunt and I were walking (and taking breaks) and walking.  I found myself giving her words of encouragement.  Partly because I didn't feel like walking back to my car half way up the bitch  (I don't like quitting.) and mostly because I think people should cheer on and encourage people who are doing things for the first time and feeling intimidated or unsure of themselves.  I mean, have you ever had someone invite you to do something that they were clearly great at, but you had never tried before?  And then they embarrassed you or belittled you as they actually competed with you to make themselves feel better!  Or what about those haters that never get off their own asses, but criticize you for trying something new?  I can't be alone in this observation...  talk about the things that tick me off ... Anyway, on to my story.  My aunt is a pretty spiritual person, so when I noticed that she was settling her tushy a little too long on a boulder, I shared with her something that gets me to the top when I'm feeling tired or lazy on my hike.  I leave something on the mountain.  Something that I need to lose and don't want to bring back with me.  Sometimes it's a pound or two, but pretty much every time I climb Stone Mountain, I give it my anger, my confusion, my resentment, my fear of something, etc.  That day, I told her that I was leaving my procrastination because lately I had been starting projects all over the house and making lists that I never crossed off.  Pretty much not getting a damn thing done.  After the pep talk, my aunt got a spark underfoot and was hitting the steeper peaks like a veteran hiker.  Around the last 50 yards or so, it gets pretty steep and to keep my pace (and my peace)  I start giving the mountain what ever I intend to leave behind, so I left her to make it on her own.  I quietly told her that this is the point where everybody has to climb their own mountain and that she could make it to the top on her own.  I waited, I watched and I cheered as she made it to the top.  I never asked her what she had left behind.  I was just proud that she did.

Spring Cleaning

For some reason on another spring is the beginning of my new year.  Perhaps it's because it's my birthday month or because it's precisely the time of year that the purple redbud trees in Georgia are the first colorful trees to wake up from their winter slumber.   Arguably, the massive white dogwood trees also let you know that spring has arrived, but color overall makes me feel alive.  


This is the month that I'm busy clearing the cobwebs from my garage and the cobwebs from my head.  I live by essential oils and aromatherapy.  Last week, while doing a few eyelash extension services, I concocted a cobweb clearing solution for the mind by adding 7 drops of Lavender oil, 3 drops of Clary Sage and 1 drop of Peppermint oil to my table top waterfall.   It's also a great recipe to add to an oil burner.  What a mood lifter!  Try it and let me know what you think.  I love new essential oil recipes and welcome any other creations.


Spring is also the time that I prune my trees and shrubs, dig in the dirt and am forced to tackle the weeds.   I'm an avid gardener.  Recently, I discovered that life is much like gardening.  In order for your life to flourish, you have to treat the weeds.  Sometimes pulling them up and out helps, but when the repeat offenders invade your space, hit them with a more permanent solution... and be done with them.  Digging up weeds is a great way to relieve stress and metaphorically get rid of the energy that you may have absorbed from an aggravating person or people in your life.   Be vigilant and don't be fooled.  There are all types of weeds out there.  Some have roots that run very deep and wide and will suck the life out of anything in the vicinity.  Then there's the chummy kind, that look pretty; masquerading as a delicate flower. And  need I remind you of the crabby kind that need no introduction because they always pop up smack dab in your face with their openly, rude intrusions?  Arm yourselves, and get ready this season.  Be ready and recognize the type of pesky weed you have in your zone.  I don't do weeds and neither should you.


My last and most fun spring ritual to do is to take my ivy, sedum or houseplant cuttings and honor them in a quirky resolutions pot.  Write down everything you want to change, or anything you want in the year to come.  Get a thin, permanent marker or paint and write every last word around the pot until there's no space left.  Get creative!   I paint clay pots over the winter and decorate them with crystals and bling and write things like:  Laughing really, really hard * Healthy Friends * Divine Presence* Room Service* Having My Prayers Answered* Perfect Timing* Watching Sunsets* A Trip to Venice* Letting Go Gracefully Without Regrets* Smiling Inside... These are a few actual things on my pots.  The nice thing is, as you water your new plant or cutting, you are metaphorically caring for your hopes and dreams.  I trust that if you do this, everything you write will come to fruition.  As my plants perk up, I will post some pictures for more ideas.  Until then, happy spring cleaning!

Happy Birthday Mom

Rushed; hurried; engaged; the day unnoticed

I marked it with an X without even seeing

I think I feel something familiar

In the middle of my being.

Wrapping thoughts around myself,

I forgot about that other pain...

The frustration of not hearing your laughter,

Or to hear you call my name.

March 23rd:  The day you called out to the world.

October 8th:  The day you reached out to God.

March 23rd:  The day you called out to me.

I think I feel something familiar.

Buckets of love flooding,

Flowing; thoughts of your embrace

Remembering the last kiss upon your face.

I think I feel something familiar...

Love

Never

Dies

Happy Me

I'm in a bit of denial when it comes to aging so when I turned 37 on the 12th, I honestly forgot how old I was. About ten years ago I vowed to be 25 years old for the next 5 years. Oh well, I might as well keep the lie consistent and be 30 for the next decade. I think I look good for my age and I feel like I'm still in my 20's anyway. My hubby bought me some new Coach sandals and a purse. When they came in the mail I wanted to tear those red bows off and revel in my new treasures but I emailed him instead. About four hours later he Skyped me and I was able to let him see me open my gifts in utter glee. Later, my aunt took me to lunch and then off to the jewelry store for two Chamilia beads. (I'm such a Chamilia whore.) I have almost every color. My gift to myself was a trip to the lady doc for blood work to test if I have plenty of eggs. I want to be a mama soon. I hope to get good news in a week.

Highs and Lows

So it's been a minute since I checked in...  I've been working nonstop (BIG problem to have... I should have reasons to complain about this more and more)  I worked on an indie film and a beauty makeover show.  High and low points?  Highs:  Being paid early and meeting and working with very talented and fun people.  Lows: An annoying crew member on the film set that CONSTANTLY had plumbers butt.  I mean, seriously, did he not feel the air up his crack every time he bent down?  And he bent down a lot...Jeez. Other than the mother of all ass cracks I've had a very busy and fun few weeks.

Lately, Kuwait has been on my mind.  I should know within two weeks when my hubby and I will be together in Kuwait.  Corporate bureaucracy... blah blah blah.  I've been shopping for less sexy American gear for my desert adventures.  Booooooooooo!  I wish I could just be me to the 100% when it comes to my wardrobe, but alas, I get enough attention as it is.  I could just see me with my hands on my hips shaking my finger at some ogling Kuwaiti man.  I hear the men stare a lot at pretty Western women.  I mean, I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything but men from my side of town don't hide the fact that they're checking you out... Gets on my nerves a lot.  I think it's just the way that they look at me... sometimes dudes grunt like they're actually having an orgasm. I mean damn, man, my pants aren't that tight.  Some men should get a clue and learn to check out women sneakily and secretly like most women do.  It would sure make me feel less violated.  Catch me on a bad day and look at my ass too long and you might get the cuss out.  On a good day, I'd smile and coyly make you feel like a piece of shit with a quick witted comment.  I'm just saying.

 I've been in a weird mood lately.  Too many people have been trying to give me their opinion about what I should do with my life... And I didn't ask for the opinion.  Can't stand people like that.  I'm getting negative.  It's time to focus on the good. I feel like I'm standing at a fork in the road.  One path leads to "What Other People Say", another is stamped with a sign leading to the town of  "A Painful Past" and the other Says "Do You".

 Just gonna live life and do me.   I seek peace and a happy family.  I will create one with my husband. I am grateful that I have a supportive, loving and generous husband that would give me the last beat of his heart if he could.  I am blessed with friends that will hold my hand and walk over fire with me if they had to.  I have every single thing that I need to live a comfortable life and opportunities that arise to bring me the things that I want.  Overall, I would say that I'm pretty fucking happy.