Sunday, September 26, 2010

Top ten things that trip me out in Kuwait

10.  Roasted  Camel... need I say more?

9.  Teased hair exposing extension tracks.

8.  Halloween...I mean, wedding makeup

7.  Clerks that follow you around the store to "help" but know NOTHING of the products that their selling.

6.  The special higher price for Americans at some retail locations.

5.  The blatant theft of intellectual property.  Using another company's actual logo or name. Such as: Facebook Cafe, Dior Salon, Best Buy, Batriq (using a turned to the right McDonald's M as their B)

4.  Little kids playing outside after midnight.  

3.  Five year old Bedouin boys selling nuts and candy at traffic intersections.

2. Niqab  wearing drivers that can't see peripherally and cause auto accidents.  AND it's my fault if  
    she hits my car! 

1.  Women who use 30 volume hydrogen peroxide to bleach their face and body. :-( That causes cancer! 
      Stop the madness and just continue to wear Kabuki white makeup instead.  

Monday, September 13, 2010

"Settling" In

I have come to discover that being settled in Kuwait really means lowering your expectations and being happy with what comes your way.  After sleeping on the couch (a big cozy couch) for two weeks, our bedroom furniture that we had made finally came... late of course.  Everything is Inshallah here.   Mind you, we moved into our new place during Ramadan.  So, I was surprised, when they rang the doorbell at one in the freaking morning!  I was like WTF?  Dang!  I've got to cover up and put on some appropriate clothes and shit?  Plus, the husband had to get up for work at 4:30 AM.  I was so pissed.  And the bed didn't even get here until the NEXT day.  So, finally when it got here the mattress smelled like formaldehyde and stale cigarettes.  Like, the workers in factory made the mattress in the warehouse stitching with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths with no ventilation.   We kept sleeping on the couch to let it air out for a few days and covered it with a flannel blanket before putting sheets on it.  I still smelled it though.  I have a nose like a dog.  Just ask the husband.  When he's at the front door.  I can tell if he ate garlic for lunch. So now I sleep on top of the duvet to not put my face near the mattress.   Oh well, that's what we get for buying a cheap ass mattress.  I just didn't want to drop a wad of cash on a mattress that we were just going to leave here.  I thought, buy a cheap mattress, and invest in an expensive matress cover that we can take back home.  So now, I'm shopping around for a  thick, mattress cover to mostly mask the factory odor that I still smell and to give it more bounce.  Although, the quality is really that not bad at all.

During Ramadan I became addicted to the X'Box game Dragon Age.  The husband thinks it's cute because he's a tekkie gamer nerd himself... My handsome tekkie nerd.  Anyway, being that mostly everything was closed in the day and the city came alive like ants to a grain of sugar at dusk; I kept my ass in the house for most of Ramadan.  And Oh!  These people cannot drive!  Also, I think the people that drive here think that a car horn is a musical instrument.  They just honk their horns randomly, for no reason at all.  On the few occasions that I did go to a mall or store, I usually left in a pissy mood because some hungry ass person was in a rush or would try to cut in line in front of me.  I don't know what it is here,  but some of the "entitled" folks think they can just march their ass in front of me.  One night, a woman in an abaya cut in front of me AND shoved me with her bags.  I was so in shock!  I had to stop myself because she was about to get a straight New Jersey cuss out.  That's where I'm originally from.   The hood.  I would like to say that all my years of schooling and hard work have diminished the hood in me, but alas, this so isn't true.  You can take the girl outta the hood, but not the hood outta the girl. I am humble and sweet, I am.  But you invade my space or take me there.  I will show you where I was born.  I turned to the husband and said through gritted teeth.  "I'm about to GO off.  I'm about to GO to jail. She just cut in front of us and pushed me!" As I was looking at him, my eyes were wide eyed and my lips were pursed.  He pleaded with me not to make a scene.  I just spoke loudly and said "How is she just going to cut in front of me like that?!  Who does she think she is!?"  A clerk quickly opened another register and waved us over to try and avoid a confrontation.  Before I walked away I bumped her ass right back.  I was SO mad.  I went home and told him not to bring me out until Ramadan was over.

Now that Ramadan is over.  My sleep is normal.  I wake up in the morning... not the afternoon and my skin is thanking me for the sunlight.  I am no longer a vampire playing video games until the wee hours.  I have everything that I need, and mostly everything that I want in my home.  I've been working as a freelance stylist for weddings, and I'm feeling like things are finally looking up in Kuwait.  I'm finally settled in.