Life List, Egypt... Check!

I had the most fantastic Thanksgiving at LOL's.  We cooked and stuffed turkey together and invited an array of international friends.  From Germany, Canada, Ethiopia,  Scotland, Spain. It was really cool to share our American tradition and mix it up with an international flair... and boy, could LOL's friend from Germany, cook!

Now, I'm sitting here at the airport in Cairo, still with a full stomach from Desert Girl's post Thanksgiving barbecue, earlier last night.  What a wonderful way to end a great week with friends. Great food, hilarious company, and now I'm putting a big fat check mark on my to do's life list... Egypt!

I'm stuck here in Cairo's ghost town airport for 4 hours.  On my way to Taba.  I'm excited to see what Egypt has to offer... ready, set go!

It's Better Than Cirque Du Soleil

Last night, I had the time of my life hanging with LOL, Desert Girl and Slapperella at my first Kuwaiti wedding.
I got the girls all gussied up at my house.... slumber party style. Lots of giggles and roll on the floor laughing.  I loved how my hubby made us a fruit tray and bought us pizza; then  he disappeared to let us do our thang.   A-plus baby,  for becoming invisible and deaf to our howling laughter and fabulously inappropriate girlie talk!  Afterwards, we snapped some pictures and we donned our abayas.  We rolled out the door covering our stylish and sexy dresses.  We were running a little late, so Desert Girl was behind the wheel clipping corners like she stole it.  Picture me flopping around the back seat trying to finish pinning LOL's hair up while miss lady was fish tailing.  Hilarious.

When we got to the location, the ladies at the entrance greeted us so nicely.  Actually, it was mostly family in the lobby and we got to meet the bride before she made her grand entrance.  I was in awe of all the glitz and glam.  White makeup, sparkles, eyebrows snatched back more perfect that Ru Paul's...  This definitely ain't no Western wedding, I thought.  No men around, so yay!  The abayas came off and we made our way to the seating.  All eyes were on us.

The music was roaring with traditional tunes sung by live singers. The room was decorated beautifully.  I was expecting to see crazy textures and colors that didn't match, but the decor was quite elegant and tasteful.  From the velvet wall coverings to the daintily covered chairs.  Not too long after we sat down, the bride made her entrance.  I remembered sitting up straighter  and oooing and aahhing like when I was a kid at the circus.  I turned to Desert Girl and shouted over the roaring speakers that this was better than Cirque Du Soeil.  I mean, it really was.  It was like the most spectacular, extravagant, drag-queen royalty parade you ever saw!  Now I see that the queens in the states are probably trying to mimic these girls.  And the hair!  I so want to buy like ten bags of weave and practice one of those Grecian x 3  hair-do's.

After the family danced around the bride during her walk to her seat on the throne, we decided to dance. Well, me Slaps and LOL did.  Desert Girl sat and cheered us on.  The ladies on the dance floor were kind enough to show us a couple of moves and we joined right in.  I don't know how to Arabic dance, but I do know how to salsa and rumba!  A little shimmy here and a little shimmy there... waving my arms a bit, I sashayed my ass  up and down the runway.  I had so much fun laughing at myself and enjoying the music.  I think most of the women there were proud of us for joining in and trying.

There are two negative things that stood out, unfortunately.  And it's a shame too because I know a lot of thought and money was put into the decor.  Although, the dress I got from Debenhams was glamorous and elegant... the spanks rolling down underneath were not.  I had to take a "powder" moment in the bathroom to give those suckers a pull up.  I KNOW you ladies who wear them know what I mean.  Slaps and LOL went along and boy what a trifling mess that bathroom was!  Soaking wet floors and wet tissue all over the place.  I thought maybe I would use the restroom too, but decided against it because there was no dry tissue anywhere except the half dry nasty balls of tissue all over the floors.  Then I thought, OK let me walk to the back so I could hike up my spanks... I walked towards a stall holding my dress up so it wouldn't touch the floor.  I was looking down to watch for water puddles and uggggh!  What is that??!!  Remember that caterpillar toy from when you were a kid?  Well, some nasty ass woman decided to take a dump on the floor and it looked like this except it was brown.  Seriously, lady?  The toilet was right there!

 I mean, WHO does that kind of shit?   No pun intended.  Well, maybe a little pun.  Anyway, the other thing that was a turn off was the food.  I am a germaphobe in case you didn't know.  I had no plans to eat any of the buffet, but I didn't want to appear rude when one of hosts of the party waved us over to come and eat. Me and LOL went to the buffet.  The place where apparently grace and manners go out the window.  Pushing, bumping, stepping on dress tails.  First we couldn't find any clean plates and when we found a server girl she had a crate of freshly "cleaned" plates.  Before she handed each of us one, she wiped them with a corner of table cloth!  I had to consciously close my mouth.  We went around throwing a few things that looked good on our plates and proceeded to stand in the middle of the buffet room and nibble so our hostess would see us eating the food.  But after I saw like 10 women taste testing and eating with their forks out of the serving dishes, I thought I was going to be sick.  We left our plates on an abandoned table and bolted back to the dance hall.

I can't remember if it was before or after the meal, but when the time for the husband and men came, we all had to put on our abayas. It was a fun ad festive entrance as the men danced and threw money up in the air for the couple.  It reminded me of the baller style dudes in a strip club... Make it rain!  As the men and the groom's family danced along the runway/dance floor.  The music was so festive and lively.  I thought it was a shame that all the covered ladies barely tapped their feet.  Oh, the difference from a moment ago.  LOL had said how sad that the men couldn't see how beautiful all the women looked and I agreed.  Afterwards, a nervous looking bride was escorted out to live at her new family's home.  We all danced again till my feet and legs hurt.  The ladies on the dance floor got more comfortable and chatted with us as we danced.  Mostly, just wanting to know who we were married to and where we were from.  It was funny to see as we got nods of approval and hearing them go off in Arabic about what they thought of us. Smiling and nodding.  I wondered if it was all good.  But I really didn't care, I had just gone to my first Kuwaiti wedding!  

The Atlantis in Dubai

The hubby and I had the most wonderful time in Dubai.  We were so busy trying to do everything that I had to come back to home to Kuwait and take a vacation from my vacation.  We stayed at the Atlantis and flew in using Emeriates.  Let me just say that I love the purple colors on the plane.  The seats and aisles were more roomy and  I enjoyed the personal video monitor at my seat.  

It was so cool to watch the the front view (what the captain was seeing) and the belly aerial view of the flight.  We even got a meal even though the flight was just a little over an hour.  The flight was indeed more pricey than the other airlines, about $100 more per person.   But we wanted to ride in style and it certainly was an upgrade. 

The hotel entrance was classy looking, filled with sea shell and ocean themed pieces. 

 The first thing that grabs your attention is the enormous geyser fountain in the middle of the lobby. 

The decor and finish in every part of the hotel was grand.   With the sound of  the water fountains, to the aroma of essential oils and softly playing music;  the experience of strolling through the hotel was utterly relaxing.  

The outside views were just as amazing.  It was truly a five star experience as far as the overall appearance and upkeep of the hotel.  And the staff worked tirelessly and with a smile to keep every guest satisfied.

 The views outside were just as amazing and very well kept.  It was a royal experience.

The panoramic view from our room was a joy to see from the terrace.  It's hard to believe that this massive oasis was man-made.

We took a stroll at night on the walkway and discovered where the water park was located.  With a quick trip from the regularly running shuttles (about 5 or 10 minutes) we were off to our water world adventure.

 As a warning, the water park will cause you to have severe laughing spells.  Those with serious sticks up their butts should avoid this experience as you will be sure to have a good time.

I am happy to say that I took "The Leap of Faith".  This slide was awesome and scary and breathtaking fun.  I highly recommend it.

After feeling like a kid and lazing around a couple of days, we swam with the dolphins... err, actually, waded with a dolphin named Cathy in shallow water since I couldn't tread water for a half an hour in the deep end. We got to kiss, hug, play, pet and dance with Cathy.  This was a highlight for me as I truly love dolphins and their playful nature.

Although we only stayed for four days, we dined at a couple of restaurants in the hotel which were divine.  And even went out for a night on the town to dine at the Emirates Towers Vu restaurant which was truly a 5 star meal.   We also managed to visit the Burj Khalifa Tower which is 2,217 feet tall (828 meters). The tallest building in the world that was just completed this year.  The observation deck was way up there with clouds... literally!  I was so in awe of the towering height that my feet were tingling.  

Our short trip felt longer because we had so much fun.  I'm looking forward to going back soon.

In Dubai Beeooch!

Finally!  I'm in Dubai for more than just a quick visa extension.  Staying at the Atlantis hotel and LOVING it so far.  Time to get off line and live life...

Driving Me Crazy

Before I came to this country, I read that Kuwait has one of highest car accident  fatality rates. Now living here, I see how it's true.  I am often terrified when riding in a car or taxi.  The ride usually consists of me holding the overhead grip at least once because of some insane driver in a rush or not paying attention.  I've also noticed an alarming number of people who don't wear seat belts.  And children playing on the dashboard.

Keeping all of that in mind, today, the hubby and I  spent a couple of hours at the Kuwait Scientific Center in the Aquarium.  Just some good old fashioned family time.  The aquarium is much smaller than the massive ones like the Georgia and Tennessee Aquariums in the U.S. but I still found it to be filled with unique and interesting specimens like bats, penguins and killer sharks.  The video touch-screens describing each exhibit were a nice touch as well.

On the way home my cheerful mood was grossly violated when not 2 minutes away from the Scientific Center, we drove past flashing lights and an apparent car accident.  An SUV's front end was run up on the curb and 3 police cars were on the scene.  I was thinking, "Oh, not another accident.  I hope no one was..."  And then I saw him.  A man was lying on his left side in the fetal position.  I thought maybe he was in pain, waiting for an ambulance.  He wasn't moving.  Then I saw the top of his head.  There was a gigantic hole in it and his brain was spilling out from his skull.  I squeezed my eyes shut and wished that I had not looked.  Other than a funeral, I have never seen  a dead body.  After feeling very scared, shocked and very sorry for the man, I began to get very angry.

First of all, I should never have seen that, no one should.  I started thinking that I had just come from a place where there were hundreds of children, and that many of their families were probably right behind us in their cars.  What if I child saw that?  There were enough police cars on the scene for one of them to have covered that body.  Police officers are often the first responders and they should have survival kits with a blanket in their trunks.

How can this culture cover up a woman's body in an advertorial photo by blacking out too much leg or photo shopping a fake shirt on a woman because it exposed too much cleavage but no one rushes to cover a man's brains spilling out on the street? Censorship is so strong in this country.  OK I get it.  But what about real life?  It just seems backwards to me.  Speaking of backwards, on the WAY to the Scientific Center, we saw a local driving an SUV with a sun visor on the front driver's side.  It covered the entire window!  I know he couldn't see the side view mirror.  I guess he thought he wouldn't need it since most of the drivers here just lane jump with out looking anyway.  I just keep thinking about that poor, unfortunate man.  Was he trying to cross the street?  Did the car just jump the curb?  Or did someone like the dumb ass I saw earlier ( that couldn't see properly from the drivers side because he was driving with a sun visor at night) decide to not slow down because everyone here seems to think they have the right of way?  What happened to pedestrians having the right of way?  Is that even a law here?  It should be.  But then again... the traffic laws don't seem to be enforced here.

Top ten things that trip me out in Kuwait

10.  Roasted  Camel... need I say more?

9.  Teased hair exposing extension tracks.

8.  Halloween...I mean, wedding makeup

7.  Clerks that follow you around the store to "help" but know NOTHING of the products that their selling.

6.  The special higher price for Americans at some retail locations.

5.  The blatant theft of intellectual property.  Using another company's actual logo or name. Such as: Facebook Cafe, Dior Salon, Best Buy, Batriq (using a turned to the right McDonald's M as their B)

4.  Little kids playing outside after midnight.  

3.  Five year old Bedouin boys selling nuts and candy at traffic intersections.

2. Niqab  wearing drivers that can't see peripherally and cause auto accidents.  AND it's my fault if  

    she hits my car! 

1.  Women who use 30 volume hydrogen peroxide to bleach their face and body. :-( That causes cancer! 

      Stop the madness and just continue to wear Kabuki white makeup instead.  

      

"Settling" In

I have come to discover that being settled in Kuwait really means lowering your expectations and being happy with what comes your way.  After sleeping on the couch (a big cozy couch) for two weeks, our bedroom furniture that we had made finally came... late of course.  Everything is Inshallah here.   Mind you, we moved into our new place during Ramadan.  So, I was surprised, when they rang the doorbell at one in the freaking morning!  I was like WTF?  Dang!  I've got to cover up and put on some appropriate clothes and shit?  Plus, the husband had to get up for work at 4:30 AM.  I was so pissed.  And the bed didn't even get here until the NEXT day.  So, finally when it got here the mattress smelled like formaldehyde and stale cigarettes.  Like, the workers in factory made the mattress in the warehouse stitching with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths with no ventilation.   We kept sleeping on the couch to let it air out for a few days and covered it with a flannel blanket before putting sheets on it.  I still smelled it though.  I have a nose like a dog.  Just ask the husband.  When he's at the front door.  I can tell if he ate garlic for lunch. So now I sleep on top of the duvet to not put my face near the mattress.   Oh well, that's what we get for buying a cheap ass mattress.  I just didn't want to drop a wad of cash on a mattress that we were just going to leave here.  I thought, buy a cheap mattress, and invest in an expensive matress cover that we can take back home.  So now, I'm shopping around for a  thick, mattress cover to mostly mask the factory odor that I still smell and to give it more bounce.  Although, the quality is really that not bad at all.

During Ramadan I became addicted to the X'Box game Dragon Age.  The husband thinks it's cute because he's a tekkie gamer nerd himself... My handsome tekkie nerd.  Anyway, being that mostly everything was closed in the day and the city came alive like ants to a grain of sugar at dusk; I kept my ass in the house for most of Ramadan.  And Oh!  These people cannot drive!  Also, I think the people that drive here think that a car horn is a musical instrument.  They just honk their horns randomly, for no reason at all.  On the few occasions that I did go to a mall or store, I usually left in a pissy mood because some hungry ass person was in a rush or would try to cut in line in front of me.  I don't know what it is here,  but some of the "entitled" folks think they can just march their ass in front of me.  One night, a woman in an abaya cut in front of me AND shoved me with her bags.  I was so in shock!  I had to stop myself because she was about to get a straight New Jersey cuss out.  That's where I'm originally from.   The hood.  I would like to say that all my years of schooling and hard work have diminished the hood in me, but alas, this so isn't true.  You can take the girl outta the hood, but not the hood outta the girl. I am humble and sweet, I am.  But you invade my space or take me there.  I will show you where I was born.  I turned to the husband and said through gritted teeth.  "I'm about to GO off.  I'm about to GO to jail. She just cut in front of us and pushed me!" As I was looking at him, my eyes were wide eyed and my lips were pursed.  He pleaded with me not to make a scene.  I just spoke loudly and said "How is she just going to cut in front of me like that?!  Who does she think she is!?"  A clerk quickly opened another register and waved us over to try and avoid a confrontation.  Before I walked away I bumped her ass right back.  I was SO mad.  I went home and told him not to bring me out until Ramadan was over.

Now that Ramadan is over.  My sleep is normal.  I wake up in the morning... not the afternoon and my skin is thanking me for the sunlight.  I am no longer a vampire playing video games until the wee hours.  I have everything that I need, and mostly everything that I want in my home.  I've been working as a freelance stylist for weddings, and I'm feeling like things are finally looking up in Kuwait.  I'm finally settled in.